Why forty slurps different

I never turned 30 years old. Seriously there is no notification, no experience or account of me turning 30. This is because I was 28 for two years, then 29 for two years and on my next birthday I was 32!

The interesting part about all this is I was featured in several media interviews in this period, and no one seemed to notice. Neither did my friends because no one ever called me out on it. Thank Goodness, this was before the mean internet and the cancel culture.

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I was not ready to be thirty years old! Not in the slightest bit according to my ‘List’ of life’s aspirations and plans. 

In my perfect world, I was to have been married to a tall, dark, and handsome man. Living in Lavington with two kids who would be in school at Braeburn and taking a holiday out of the country once a year.  

Tall dark and handsome

All this was going to be possible because I earned a six-figure salary, and my handsome husband would be rich. He would be looking at me the way Ridge Forrester looks at Brooke Logan in that TV show, Remember it? – The Bold and The Beautiful!

Yes by 30 I would be enviably happy. Maybe even grace the cover of True Love magazine, telling people how it is possible to have it all! In reality, though, I was living what I viewed as a bland life fueled by very few zeros on my paycheck.  I was just not ready to be 30!

That however was not the case nine years later, I could not wait to turn 40!

I remember counting down the months and the days right from my 38th birthday! I wasn’t alone, around me, friends were having elaborate 40th birthday parties (some out of the country) and looking fabulous! I couldn’t wait my turn.

Life begins at 40

Many people say, Life begins at 40 and I was ready for it! Forty, fabulous, fierce, fun, and Florence! Even my name rhymed with how ready I was.  

One of the great things about being forty is how I and everyone around me are finally taking control of their lives. The bold women we have become move boldly, apologize less, and embrace their true selves, everyone else be damned.

The quality of our conversations is so deep and high-vibration, our friendships are more connected and stronger. I like this part.

If you are like me, at this age, you are young enough to understand social media, slow enough in the transitions from Facebook to X, to Instagram to Snapchat and you may have not even made it to TikTok. You could even be a tech wiz but also appreciate what life was like when phones hung on a wall or sat on a table.

Acting your age

At work, you have young co-workers and once in a while you tend to start your sentences with “when I was your age…” and watch curious eyes wait for your serious words of wisdom. And then get scared because you wonder “I ‘m I elderly now?”

“Welcome to your 40’s if you do not already have a mysterious ailment one will be assigned to you shortly”- Karen Prints. Someone should have warned us about how our bodies will have a mind of their own in this age. I appreciate the podcasts and books on perimenopause and healthy living that offer a wide range of information for my friends and me. One truth exists here, you will not only live once in this age.

I agree with whoever said that forty is when your body gives your brain a list of things it is not going to do anymore. Hellen Rowlands once said, Life begins at 40, but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. In this period so far, my friends and I have stood by each other as we experienced loss or faced life-altering moments and then journey of recovery, rebuilding, and restoring.

I must admit, I was not fully ready for this change and was fooled by all the glamour. Armed with new knowledge and motivated by Victor Hugo’s words - Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age-  I am hopeful for the next decade of my life!

If life begins at forty, the good life must begin at 50. And I am going to be ready body, mind, and spirit for it this time!

The Writer is the Co-Executive Director, the Global Network of People Living with HIV (GNP+).