Oral East Africa>What I know about living, where everyday is a blessing At the hut of the story

Written by Florence Riako Anam

I turned a year older last week, and you cannot imagine the joy I felt upon reflecting on that. A couple of decades ago, the story of my life had a potentially different ending, yet, by some miracle from a high power, I am still here. Oh what joy!

A life-threatening diagnosis made me have a rather untimely confrontation with my own mortality in my mid-twenties. No one wants to be told that they have approximately 10 years to live when they are just in their first job, or just beginning to figure out what life after school is going to be.

I was young and in crisis while around me people with my diagnosis were treated like pariahs, excluded, ostracised almost living life like the twentieth-century lepers. The Stigma and Discrimination for people living with HIV before and in the early 2000s was so high. Many people died every day not from the illness itself, but mostly from the shame and trauma from people's behavior around them. Those were tough times.

As a young woman at the time, I was hit by the realization that I was going to leave the world unknown, and useless. I mean, my parents had big dreams for me, dreams they didn’t shy from mentioning out loud. One afternoon, feeling rather sad I asked myself, “ Is this it?

Identity

A couple of cries in, I made the decision to make the most of my life by shifting from the initial plans of success in the physical sense or at least how my parents and I dreamed of it; the big corporate job, higher education, big car, perfect family behind the perfect house with a picket fence. And defined what success would mean for me from that moment on.

I will be remembered for being of service and touching people's lives because “At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel”- Maya Angelou

Thanks to treatment and an incredible support system for my ability to live my life's purpose and thrive in it. I am always on a work travel during my birthday and celebrating with work peers more than family so this week was no exception. I am in Joy and grateful. Here are three things I know so far;

To find your value or purpose, be of service:

Once when I was out of work, struggling, and generally crying in despair, someone's wise words got me out of the rut. They said to me “Why don’t you find a place to volunteer and serve people? It will take away your mind from your own pain”.

A month later, I was working at the Kenya Network of Women With AIDS (KENWA) as a volunteer and was introduced to a whole different world in which my issues felt insignificant. In this place, I laid the foundation of service and found my purpose and value in the world remaining steadfast in this purpose to date.

Marc Antony once said, “If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life”. This is so true! Be of service to others, you will find your purpose and value.

Get out of the race/run your own Race;

You know the life race? The kind that makes you believe you have failed in life if you are not married by a certain age, do not have a child by a certain age or even at all, are a failure if you do not work in a certain job or drive a particular car if your kids do not get particular grades.

That race? I couldn’t compete in it. So I set my own race. In my race, the competition is between the current me and the next-level me. nothing else matters except realizing my goals at the moment and my next goals. There is a kicker here, however.

To win at your own race, you must be willing to be honest with yourself. About your needs and wants, about your reality, about your effort.

In my house, I ask this of my kids, “Whatever you do, give it your very very best, the kind of best that earns you the right to give it all up if it is not working or that you are sure whatever the outcome is, you did your best”.

The truth here is, that it will not matter what anyone else thinks, you get to be the only one that knows you failed you. So, run your race, and run it like the badass you are.

Commit your goals to writing;

My three ingredients to accomplishing anything you set your mind to are; 1) commitment to your goal, 2) consistency in any actions needed to achieve your goal 3) persistence to push through any changes, shifts or challenges ahead.

Writing down your goals provides clarity, enables you to measure and celebrate progress, and keeps you motivated. I wrote earlier about the five-year personal strategic plans my friends and I make and how successful we are in them.

Well, commitment, consistency, and persistence have gotten me this far. Maybe they will for you too.