Oral East Africa>Rejection can be a blessing in disguise At the hut of the story

Written by Florence Riako Anam

Have you ever rejected someone or something? How did rejecting make you feel? In the course of our lives we will reject someone or something severally and we will be rejected, and that is ok.

Rejection can be defined as the act of dismissing or refusing a proposal or idea. It is also the action of spurning a person's affection or interest.

The rejection could be from a family member, from a man or woman you liked, friends, co-workers, a job, school, or your favorite pair of jeans. It could also be from the regret letters you received from job applications or proposals for funding.

How did the rejection make you feel?

Rejection hurts! Horribly! when it happens, the pain and emotions that follow destabilize us. Like a hard slap on the face, it makes us question who we are, what our value is, some of us cry for days, feel dejected and depressed.

For many people, the usual response after rejection is to try and change who we are, to fit in, to be accepted more. This is easy but only for a moment because let’s face it; People pleasing is hard. Not being true to yourself is one of the biggest burdens of life. So, in the end we will not be happy anyway.

James Altucher says, “rejection and the fear of rejection is the biggest impediment we face to choosing ourselves.” I agree with him. In our quest to be our authentic self therefore we must learn how to overcome rejection. How many people agree?

Good because famous author John C Maxwell, agrees with you too! He says “Successful people reject rejection”

Three lessons for how to be a boss about rejection

How? you may ask. In order to overcome rejection, we must begin immediately to have a positive outlook for it. View rejection as a blessing in disguise. A friend, the fuel that we need to be successful. Easier said than done. With practice however, I believe this to be achievable.

Firstly, View rejection as projection: A psychological projection. This is the mental process by which people attribute to others what is in their own minds. The best way to summarize this would be to ask you to not view rejection as being about you and your value or who you are as a person but to understand that it could be about the other persons inner turmoil, or issues.

I’ll give an example. As a man, you may have extended your interests in a lady and asked them out on date, and they rejected you not because you are ugly or a bad guy or not good enough; it just may be that in that moment, what you represent isn’t what they want.

When you view your rejection in this way, then rather than cower and be discouraged, you will get confident in moving ahead to the next challenge because you remain confident in your great abilities and your awesomeness.

Rejection as protection

Secondly, View rejection as protection. Yes, protection from something or someone that isn’t meant to be in your life in that particular time. I once abruptly resigned from a job after being passed over for promotion and opportunity for growth.

I remember giving out my resignation letter and once it was received, I panicked. I got home and felt a huge sense of relief. I was free. Nine months later, I was in a greater job earning triple what I was earning previously and couldn’t have been happier. Sometimes, when we are afraid of rejection we cling on to jobs, relationships, people or things that are not good for us.

Finally, view rejection as redirection: Author Bryant H McGill wrote, “Rejection is merely a redirection; a course correction to your destiny.” Imagine that. What I learn from this is that rejection is an opportunity to pause, evaluate your decisions and actions, leave behind what isn’t working and embrace new behavior, skills or decisions that set you on the path to be the best version of yourself.

I submit to you today that rejection does not mean you have failed or have no value or future. That you do not need to fear it. Every cloud has a silver lining. So, go on and find your silver lining in the moments of the rejection you experience.