Orals East Africa>The Adulting epidemic At the hut of the story

Written by Ronald Otieno

Nearly half of this country are between the age of 15-35. Each year thousands of us are officially ushered into adulting, completely unprepared for it and into a society that just hoped we would remain kids for feeding juvenile white lies.

Growing up I saw adults as those individuals who had so much freedom with their life and I used to admire how much liberty one could have in his daily routine.

The choices one would take without supervision, the actions one would make without inquiring for permission from anyone. I imagined the amount of money and valuables one would possess and just seeing all these I thought to myself, how much I wanted to be an adult, I could not wait to grow up.

Over the years, I marked my birthdays, the end of school days, college and graduation like a rehearsal for the big life out there that promised to be blissful with all the possibilities coming to reality.

Dream life

Joining high school, I saw the adult dream getting closer. I could not wait to sit for my final year exams, the Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education.

The stories we told each other in school and the plans that each of us had when I recall some of them till date at times I burst into laughter.

I remember one of my classmates stating that he would have a whole sound system that is built particularly for outdoor occasions inside his apartment as a contemporary architecture and he would go further to say the only time it would be off is when there is a power blackout.

I remember for me I was to own a Range Rover by 25 years old.

Demographic dividend

Africa is called the young continent because of people like me, who are promised that we will transform our countries. The demographic divide describes countries where young people who are economically active are more than there are dependents.

As the educated youthful population, we are expected to deliver an economic boom when there will be two active youth for every child and pensioner.

This could mean that the country has more income and could even build up enough savings to reduce the cost of credit in the country.

But today African economies are taking money from people’s pockets through tax and inflation, shrinking savings making Kenya’s credit expensive, killing businesses that could have employed us, and looking at young people like me as a population problem.

‘Ukimaliza Shule unitafte’

Once you grow up you realize quickly the naivety of your assumptions, one after another, and the reality that adults have not quite figured out their own lives, let alone made any plans for us.

So many deceptive words that I received and promises from relatives ‘’Wewe soma ukimaliza ukuwe mkubwa, you’ll have access to wherever place you want. Ukimaliza Shule unitafte.’’

After my final high school examination; we used to have some periods where we waited for our results to be given back to the public, and during this period, I found it unfit to sit around being idle. I needed at least something to do and of course money in exchange for my labour.

Looking for a job sounded quite simple until I did my ‘’tarmacking’’ for a whole two weeks and knocked on almost all business doors that I knew of but all was in vain. Instead, I got promises and I was told to leave my phone number I would be called if an opportunity presented itself.

Paper money

Fast forward after college and all the chronicles I experienced, reality started to creep in slowly yet still I had that fire burning. I wanted a range rover at 25.

I landed my first No-collar job in a Photo studio where I first really , interacted with money. I got all pumped up had a list of stuff that I needed to purchase especially the ‘big elephant’ which was to move out of my parents’ house and taste independence.

Now this was the point of awakening to me, I learned the hard way, the painful truth, that the value of money is relative to your needs and most often you will never have enough for the basics, let alone the luxuries.

I started to understand that among your needs there are things that play a factor to the kind of lifestyle you want to live. For instance, nobody warned me about the bills, no one gave me a heads up about the spending behavior, I was plain green and had to learn by experience.

Despair

The reality is that young people my age, are less likely to get employment, buy a home, afford health insurance and save for retirement.

The age I marked to purchase a car was getting closer, and anxiety started kicking in. Worse still living under the peer pressure from the social media of ex-classmates owning things that you intended to and completing projects and goals that you have been aspiring to now started to be more and much of a concern than before.

Like many in my age, we often fall to the dumbing down on alcohol and drugs hoping to keep the anxiety of adulating away as long as possible, but even then the anxiety never escapes, you.

One-night siting outside chilling, after a stimulant euphoric feeling I was having. I asked myself why didn’t they at least give us a heads up of all this?

Love and marriage

Even love is a fraud. I was to settle after college with a pretty girl that I met in my high school days. That was the agreement we had, until we parted ways for her to pursue a Bachelor of education on the western side of the country while I remained on the lakeside.

Slowly communication became a problem and all that I perceived to be my next beautiful world I could not believe it was coming to an end. She went ahead and married someone else, upon asking, she replied by saying ‘he is a good man’.

I thought relationships just happen and there is not much work to be put into it like Disney has it or paints it to society. The ‘cupid’ and the ‘fling twin’ believers. You just let it unfold which honestly is not even the case!

I will marry when I want

And I am not alone, all my peers seem to find adulthood almost overwhelming and they too are struggling to keep themselves alive, let alone imagine maintaining a family.

My friends nowadays have different opinions on marriage, most say they are not considering settling down. Dating itself is painted to be rocket science, just because of the cost associated with going for dates, and buying simple gifts.

To date a girl of my interest, I need to have a ‘girlfriend allowance’ just to keep her happy. Besides that, she claims she can meet whomever she wants just cause there is no ring on her finger yet. Creating room for more opportunities in her life while you are still expected to fulfill your partner's needs and interests including financial assistance. If not, you are kicked to the curb.

My generation is even institutionalizing single parenting in lingo with proclaimed titles ‘’Babymomma and Babydaddy’’ that it is clear that my age mates are not ready for marriage.

The stories my peers narrate regarding their small attempts at starting families are a shocker to me, with some sounding like the hard news you would hear every morning in the radios or TVs.

Fantasy and reality

I used to think, that riches and success were something one got just by meditating or praying without working so tirelessly for it. Or maybe I guess I dreamt highly of myself and gave deadlines which resulted to unfulfilled expectations.

Motivational talks on the internet that are accompanied by pictures and clips of individuals having a flashy lifestyle by extension of them charging highly paid courses on how to get rich overnight made my generation think that its easy.

Not to mention the regrettable actions that you would indulge in and just have to be accountable since you are your own keeper and later on acquire knowledge from it.

At times I think that adults didn't prepare us well, life and most of its stories that are fabricated and some that are sugar-coated should not be the case.

When you are preparing for a war, getting to know what you are going to deal with is far more better and advantageous than not, you can know where or how to tackle from.

However, my boss Mr Otiato says, we have to learn on our feet citing a line that I really took into consideration in one of our banter chat we were having.

‘’Kuna vitu huwezi ambiwa, you have to experience them wewe mwenyewe’’ he said on marriage.